The Sports Emmys are lacking, so Deadspin is here to pick up the slack

“Food is fuel and nothing more.” — Dan Orlovsky.

I know that I need to be more disciplined with my diet, but I have these things called taste buds. If they aren’t properly satiated at least once per day, my entire evening is lost. I won’t be able to think about anything but an unsatisfying day of eating.

Also, I’m not taking food advice from a 40-year-old who puts ice cubes in his red wine. Therefore, he can keep his unseasoned chicken to himself. Dan, a little paprika won’t hurt you.

Then when he does veer into junk food his takes are still trash. His favorite snack cake/treats are oatmeal cream pies and Nutty Bars. While Nutty Bars aren’t that good, what followed is truly atrocious. Orlvosky tweeted that none of the others are edible. No Swiss Roll, cupcake, or even a honey bun?

Boo this man!